Some of the decisions I have made in life have led to success and some in failure. However, I do not count the latter as mistakes since, in most cases, I made the best decision I could based on the information and resources available at the time. I instead count these as lessons learnt. There is, however, one thing I do regret most and count as a grave error that still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth to date—inauthenticity.
I look back at moments in which I was not true to myself with great repugnation—moments where I conformed to an identity that I thought would help me fit in best and get ahead of the curve. I consider this the highest form of self-betrayal. This self-mutilation and acquiescence is especially pervasive in professional settings where a certain set of traits is more favored over others in judging who fits best into the work culture.
I do not desire to look back again in time and gasp at the fraud I tried to be. I want to look back and be proud that I never conformed to any synthetic standards and stayed true to who I was. I want to be proud that I was patient and gave myself space and time to grow organically at a natural pace that did not efface the beauty of who I was at any given point in my journey.